Adventures with the Shea's

I know I have not blogged in a while. I had to get my self together first before I could start writing again. I feel like my life has completely changed by losing my mom. I am not the same person I was. Sometimes that is good. I keep myself busy by cleaning the house, cooking, shopping and redecorating. I have been going to therapy once a week and it has helped so much. I am actually feeling good. Well, today anyways. So today I am going to talk about joining weight watchers. I joined ww about 6 years ago and lost 30lbs. I felt great. So great I got pregnant and gained 58lbs. Then I lost 40lbs after giving birth and I felt really good and was enjoying my new mommy body and just embraced it. Then I got pregnant again and was 188lbs delivering my second son. However, I was 188lbs for both my pregnancies, really weird. I thought since my first pregnancy weight came off easy so would my second. NO!!! that did not happen. I was maintaining 159 really well and was just not happy. As we all know I was put under a lot of stress for  2 months with my mom and lost 10lbs. After my mom passed I joined ww to start eating again the right way and I am happy to say I have lost 7.4lbs on ww. All together I lost 17.4 lbs and I feel great! I started running and I can actually run the track without killing myself and I look forward to running. Never thought I would say that. I go with a close friend that just had a beautiful baby boy and she is doing great!! She looks awesome! She is feeling good, looking good and just has that new mom glow about her. We take the kids with us and my boys are really good. However, I never thought William was listening boy was I wrong. Jeremy and I took the boys to dinner a few weeks ago. I was dying a lobster roll or fried belly clams. When I asked to waitress if there was celery in the lobster roll she said yes and William leans over to me and says “mommy don’t forget your points” The waitress says oh do you have an allergy I said no and William says “no, she’s on weight watchers.” Really, way to sell your mom out! Needless to say I told her I would like the broiled scrod please. Thank you William for keeping me on track. When the waitress came over to give us the bill she says “good luck with your way in” Oh, how I love my William!

My last post in January was about my mom and how sick she has been. On January 27, 2012 at 11:10 p.m. my mom was taken from me. She was brought to heaven by angels. My brother and I sat on opposite sides of her held her hand as we held hands and watched her take her last breath. I have never felt so helpless in my life. For the first time I could not help her get better. Making plans for her services, picking out flowers and the hardest part picking out her casket. I hated every minute. I would pay all the money in world to get my mom back. I miss her smile, her laugh and most of all her love she had for my boys. Telling William was the hardest thing. How do you tell your 6 year old about death when you don’t even understand why God had to take her from us. Jeremy did a great job at it and he took it hard at first but now he is getting better with it. He said to me today. “Mommy when I am at school I don’t think of Gamma that much, is that ok? I told him of course it is. Gamma would not want us always thinking of her that it is ok to be busy and not think about it.  Gamma is always in your heart anf she knows how much you love and miss her. I don’t mind when people ask how I am or any questions about her but when my son talks about her I just melt and want to cry because he is going to miss out on what a great person she was. I told him he has a big job, he gets to tell Nolan and Emmitt how great Gamma was and how lucky they are to of had such a great person in their lives. I look back at all the picturesof my mom and she was so beautiful inside and out. I miss her everyday and I hate that she is gone. The phone rings at certain times and for a split second I think it is her. I know in time it will slowly pass and get easier but right now it sucks. People may think why I am blogging about this. I need too. It is my therapy. I plan to sit down with someone and just get all this out but for right now it”s in my blog. At my moms funeral I got up and spoke. I knew if I didn’t say what I had to I would regret it. I believe she was standing right beside me giving me that strength. She was my best friend and feel her with me. I know she loves me and she is proud of who I become. But no matter what age you are you just want your mom. I had a song played at her services “Ain’t no Mountain High Enough” it was a song that was one of our favorites. Between my mom, brother and I. I was doing dishes Wednesday afternoon and I just started singing it. I knew I had to play it because it’s true. Ain’t nothing gonna keeep her away. She is with us. Sometimes I talk to her maybe I’m a little crazy but not until she starts talking back to me.

This maybe the hardest blog for me to  write. I know I am going to cry the whole time I type but I need to get this out. So far this new year 2012 has been the hardest, emotional rollercoaster I have ever been on. My mom is my best friend and she has been very sick. New Years eve she called me and said she was having trouble breathing and that I had to call an ambulance. They got to her house and hooked her right up to oxygen. I was answering all the questions I could and I watched as they put my mom in to the back of the ambulance. She looked at me and we looked at each other and I told her I would meet her at the ER. When I was finally  able to get into the room she was not my mom. Her eyes were rolling into the back of her head, her lips were cracking and she was shaking. I didn’t know what to do. They told me my mom was very sick and that they needed to sedate her and put a breathing tube in. I had to sign the paper because I am her health proxy. I left the room to give them time to put everything together. I walked into the family waiting room and fell to my knees crying. Jeremy picked me up and just held me. This is my mom and I don’t know what is going on. I was so scared. I walked with them to the ICU and fell apart in the waiting room. Jeremy had the kids and my dad was on his way up. I just sat there crying and wondering how the hell this all happened. I was holding her necklace and rings just staring at the floor feeling sick and so scared. After an hour and a half I was finally able to see her. I walked into the room looking at her laying there. This is not supposed to happen, your mom is untouchable and there she is on abreathing tube and sedated.  Why? What caused all this? No one had answers for me or anything. They took her down to get a CAT scan of her stomach and saw that her gall bladder was inflamed and full of fluid. Shea had a gallstones that was clogging it. They started draining it but her white blood cells were still pretty high. When she got there they were at 46 with the gallbladder draining it went down to 32. The infection from the gall bladder got into her blood and infected it which made her go septic. She was on 5 different antibiotics, blood pressure medication, the sedation and breathing tube.  I couldn’t take it anymore and I had her transferred to Mass General on Thursday. We both went together in the ambulance and I waited 3 hours in the waiting room for them to get he situated. At 9:00 I was able to see her and she was moving her head  a little. They had lowered her sedation medication. Friday I went up and she was very sedated she was having another CT Scan so I wasn’t able to spend much time with her. Today, which is one week since I have spoken to my mom I walked into her room I held her hand and said “mom” she slowly opened her eyes and looked me in the eyes. I started crying telling her how much I missed her and how much I love her. I could tell she was getting upset because she was crunching up her forehead. I tried to tell her it was ok and to not cry. I asked her if she know where she was and she shook her head yes I asked if she had any pain she shook her head . I sat there for 3 hours just looking at her and smiling. I didn’t want to leave. We are hoping the tube will come out soon but she does have some fluid in her lungs and they want to make sure that she is all clear before they do anything. I can’t wait to talk to her and have conversation. I know moms will drive you crazy or some people may not get a long with them. My mom could drive me crazy but she is always there for me and she is the best Grandma my boys could ask for. A year ago I had called my mom telling her how much I love her and appreciated her because a friend of mine had lost her mom to cancer and I couldn’t see not having my mom. Of course she said thank you and wanted to know if she was going somewhere. I just had to tell her. Please whoever reads this tell your mom how you really feel about her because anything can happen. I thought I was going to lose my mom and I didn’t know if I was going to be able to cope with it. I am finally able to eat something and sleep. Love your mom, you were only given one and make her feel like it. I will for the rest of my life. I felt the pain of losing her but I was lucky to get her back just little bit.

I love, love, love the holidays I mean who doesn’t!? Having kids just makes it even better. They really bring all the fun and excitement out of you and people just seem more cheery. Of course my boys birthdays are around the holidays and that aways makes things easy on us (sarcasm) but we get through it and I make sure they have great birthdays. My following post is the 10 things I love about the holidays:

1. Christmas music always puts me in a good mood. I can get a lot done while listening to it. I think it puts an extra kick in my step.
2. Shopping. I know many people hate this but I enjoy it. I try to put some thoughts into my gifts and I love to see how happy it makes them.
3. Looking for our xmas tree.  We get hot chocolate and go on a search for the perfect tree. This year I wanted to kill my husband because he is so indecisive. It bothers me when we go to dinner and he can’t decide but a tree just sets me over the edge. It’s a tree FOR GODSAKES!!! But we found our tree and it is perfect!!
4. Cooking all the treats. I love to cook and baking is my all time favorite.
5. Making fun crafts with the boys. William loves arts and crafts and he has so much fun with all the holiday crafts we are doing. I also get to make something for Williams teachers and of course his bus driver, I am thinking on cookies in a jar. I recieved this when I was a teacher and I thought it was the cutest idea.
6. Christmas lights. I love driving around and seeing all the lights and decorations.
7. The Christmas movies!! Love The Elf, National Lampoons xmas vacation, Frosty, Rudolph and then you can always find a good one on Lifetime or 25 days of Chritmas.
8. Holiday cards. I know not many people do them but it’s the holidays. You just gotta!
9. Elf on the Shelf. Whoever thought of this creepy looking doll is a genious. William didn’t really get it last year but this year it is actually working. I think next year Hermie ( that is his name) will have a friend. I want the boys to each have one so they can continue it with their children.
10. Christmas morning. Seeing my boys run down the stairs and their faces, they cannot believe what they see. That is truly my favorite gift.

There are 2 things you shoud always remember:

1. Always make sure santa has cookies and milk. It takes a lot to build a kitchen set, bike, basket ball hoop, scooter you name it. Always keep the guy hydrated and he is not picky on the cookies.
2. Nothing and I mean nothing says the holidays then a nice sweater vest or a full fledges Christmas sweater

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season and a Happy New Year!!

This year I really wanted to go to black friday. I had never gone and I wanted to see what the big deal was. I never understood why some people would want to stand in line and freeze their asses off to get the best buy. I think that now that I am getting into extreme couponing I had this urge that I had to go. Crazy I know, but it was something I had to do. I checked out all the adds and Walmart, Target and Toys R Us had the items that I needed for a good price. Also, the times they were going to open worked out great. Walmart opened at 10p.m. Target, 12 a.m. and Toys R us 12 a.m. Can I just say that was all LIES!!!! Not one store opened when they were suppose to and there was no DD opened either. Target opened at 1 a.m Toys R US 1 a.m. and Walmart the biggest liars of all 4 a.m. After going to all these stores and finding out the truth and getting passes being pissed off, I decided I would stick it out and go to Target. Jeremy, my brother, his girlfriend Brandi and I went and stood in line at 11 :30 p.m. waiting for the doors to open. While in line we got our 1st call from Jeremy’s brother Joe he was watching the boys for us. Nolan had woke up and he could not get him back down. Jeremy left and went home to take care of Nolan. We were only in Hanover so we were not that far. While in line we get wind that DD is now opened up the street. My brother jumps on that and gets all of us a coffee. He comes back as well as Jeremy. Jeremy was there with me all of 20 min and another phone call. Nolan is up. I told him to just stay home and I’ll get everthing we need. So, the 3 of us are there talking to everyone around us. The people there were very nice. At about 1230 the coffee was starting to kick in and I had to pee BAD!! I knew I didn’t have time when I got in there and there was know whay I could hold it. I told my brother to come with me to his car to pee. He finished his large coffee and I told him I need that cup.  Now I have peed in cups before and in cars as well. At first I get in the front to pee but there are people waiting in their car, next to us. I tell my brothere to stand in front of the window and face them. I could not go. I don’t know if it was because I could relax to go, the people beside me or my broither yelling anytime now and knocking on thre window. At that point I had to give up pull my pants up and be miserable because I couldn’t pee. I tell my brother I can’t go and he says well I got to go and pees on the other side of the car. So, I go back in the car back seat now on the drivers side and attmpt it again. Finally, I went. I filled the large coffee cup and also peed on myself! I am shocked not knowing what to do now because my underwear and the back of my paints are very wet. I pull my pants up and bring out the cup and my brother laughs a little an says I can’t believe you filled up that cup. I turn around to show that peed all ove myself and before I can say it He yells while laughing his ass off you pissed all over your self. He is laughing so hard at me that he can’t even breathe. Now not to mention I was cold already I was wet and cold now. AWFUL!! All I can say to that. I get back in line we finally get inside and I can say is chaos at electronics for T.V’s phones, ipods, kindles you name it. I just needed toys and I really did save. Target was a lot smoother then Walmart. Walmart is always crazy but black friday just tops it. I had a lady ramming my ass with her carriage. I turned around and told her, no one is moving so stop ramming me in the ass!! By the time  Walmart came I was done, tired and wanted to go home. Again, I made out really good. I came home at 530 finally fell asleep at 630 after hiding everything. My lovely boys were up at 830. That is late for them. Spent all day with them and then went to work that night. By 830 p.m. I could not keep my eyes open. I went home took a shower and crashed. My wonderful husband let me sleep in till 12. I love him!! I am not sure if I will do it again but it was fun!

Thanksgiving is 2 days away and I am so excited!! I love Thanksgiving. I enjoy cooking and of course eating. I can also start decorating the house and listening to Christmas music. ( I listen to xmas music now but I won’t be crazy then) Jeremy and I are actually going to go out on black friday. I am really excited for that and I love a good deal! I have my list ready and hopefully we make it through alive. This year has been a good year for us and we are truly blessed for what we have and what Jeremy and I have worked for. It’s never easy but we always say to each other it could be worse and isn’t that the truth. Here are the 10 things I am thankful for:

1. My boys. I love them more than words can say. They are the best gifts I have ever recieved. Everyday is hard but with every laugh,smile,sweetness they have and they give me makes it all go away.
2. My husband. He is my best friend. He is supportive,funny ,honest,kind, wonderful daddy The list goes on, I could not have asked for a better guy!
3. Being able to stay home with William and Nolan. I am truly blessed and a very lucky lady.
4. Having a house. Givivng the boys a yard to play in and there own rooms. Living on a dead end street not worrying about cars. Everything I asked for to a point
5. William doing so well in Kindergarten. I was so nervous for him leaving me going on the bus and being in a new environment without me. It was a difficult but I think I got through it ok.
6. My Nolan. Every Thanksgiving I always go back to the day Nolan was born and how hard it was seeing him with all those machines. I did not get to hold my baby till the next day and I never got to spend the one on time we shoul have had. He spent all his time in the NICU and I never left his side, on that Thanksgiving he was not with us. I spent 10 days there with him and finally he came home Nov 30th and he is perfect!
7. My mom. I am very luck to have he and the boys are so lucky to have such a great Gamma!
8. Being able to give my children what they need and not worrying. There are so many families that struggle everyday just make ends meet. That makes us very blessed.
9. Having the jobs I have. They are great for me. I have spending money and I never leave my boys in daycare. That is the best for me I could not ask for anything better.
10. Being surrounded with love. Jeremy has a big family that sometimes makes it hard to go to evey little thing but no matter what they always try and it’sreally nice to know that you have that.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Ok so, they day has come and I have turned 30 years old. I know, I can’t believe it either. I am having a hard time coming to terms with this but I really have no choice. However, I will not be actually 30 until 11:29 p.m. ( ya, 23 1/2 hours of labor, your welcome mom!) I googled what to do in your 30′s and all I got was 10 ten things to do BEFORE 30. Really? I feel like I have not done that much in my 20′s. Honestly, I really don’t know what I am looking to do. I had 2 healthy boys, married an amazing man, bought a home, made it through putting my first born into kindergarten. I am a certified (by education) dental assistant and I directed a center. Really, what is my problem. I think I just want more but who doesn’t ? There are a lot of things that I would really like to do. Hopefully, I will make it all happen in the next 10 years. Here are the 10 top things that I would love to see happen

1. Going on a trip (honeymoon) with just my husband. We have never gone away together on a plane,boat,and train without our children.
2. Making more time for myself. My husband tells me I need too, and he is right.
3. Cooking more. I love to cook but I want to get out of my comfort zone and explore.
4. Back to school to finish my education. Right now it is my husbands turn. I want to se him graduate and do what he loves. He is amazing, Deans list ever semester!! I don’t know how he does it.
5. I am going to TRY really really hard to be a little bit more laid back and not sweat the small stuff. It is going to be hard because I am a nervous nelly and I stress out a lot.
6.   Spend more time with my family, especially my brother. I have an amazing brother that I love more that anything. I would do anything for him and he would do the same. He is a wonderful dad and he does it so well. I love seeing him in his new role as a daddy. The love for his little boy just shines through him.
7. I would love to learn how to knit and maybe finish a blanket. That is quite an accomplishment because it is very hard with children.
8. Write more children’s stories. I love writing and I would like to someday get them published.
9. I know I really should exercise and once I start I usually like it. I would love, love to be back to my pre-children weight. That WILL HAPPEN!!!!!
10. I am going to say I love you to my family more. Before our phone call ends I am going to say “I Love You” life is to short and I don’t want to have any regrets.

My best friend of 20 years is having her first baby. I am very excited for her and her husband. They are going to be great parents and that baby will be so loved. With that being said I am dedicating this blog to them. Here are the 10 things you must know when  becoming parents:

1. Daddy will never do anything right
2. Mommy you are crazy
3. You are going to mess up but it’s ok. They love you no matter what
4. Always, always ask ” is that poop or chocolate” before any sudden moves
5. Your relationship will change but for the good and you will laugh your ass off at stupid shit (literally)
6. The house will never be as clean as it was before the baby so don’t kill yourself trying
7. Being out late or going to bed late will bite you in the ass. I promise, your cute little baby will not sleep in.
8. Your life is wrapped around that little person and it is the best life. You will forget what life was like before this little person came into your life
9. Feeling that little babies breath on your face when snuggling in bed is the best ( no matter what the books say  or people, if you need sleep do what you need to do)
10. Enjoy,enjoy enjoy!! The first year will go by in a flash. Take as many pictures as possible

When I found out I was having a boy with William I was so excited. I had a feeling it was going to be a boy but when they said it, tears just filled my eyes. People tell me boys are easier and they are mommy’s boys. William has always been a mommies boy but he is not easier. Nolan is easy but a daddy’s boy. My boys are the complete opposite. It is crazy! My boys think that everything is funny from a fart noise to someone getting hurt. The other day I was getting ready in the bathroom and I hear the boys laughing and giggling. Every time I hear them getting along it makes me smile. I came around the corner and Nolan is covered in red marks. William thought that it would be funny if he threw strawberries at Nolan. Nolan had strawberry marks on his back, belly, arms, legs, eyes,nose. I could go on. It is kinds funny but what in his right mind thought it was a good idea. Poor Nolan needed a tub and the rug had to be scrubbed. William lost strawberries for the day ( he loves them) and he had to help clean the rug ( really, what help?!) Jeremy and I do a great a job with supporting each other in what the other says goes. It took us some time but I think we got it down. However, my husband is a huge kid himself. That is one of the things that I love about him. When he came home and asked me what happen with Nolan and the strawberries he looked at me like, what was he thinking and he has a weakness for Nolan because he is the baby. He feels his pain. But he does not help sometimes either. I caught Jeremy taping 4 parachute guys to the ceiling fan in the dining room. When I saw this I just looked at him. He did not know I was looking until he turned the fan on and William saying do it again daddy. He looks at me and laughs, I shake my head and say “and you wonder where he gets it from!?” My question is when do the boys get easy because I have 3 in different ages and I still don’t know.

I love the fall, it is my favorite season! I also love to watch t.v. I know, where do I find the time!? LOL!! I really love when the new shows that come on especially when I wait all summer long. Here are my top 10 shows that I really enjoy.

1. Modern Family ( so funny!)
2. Up All Night ( just started and I love it!)
3. Castle
4. Mike and Molly ( it is the best show)
5. Big Bang Theory
6. Private Practice
7. Ellen ( I know it is not at night but I still love watching it)
8. Dancing with the Stars
9. Diners Drive ins and Dives ( It is a good food show and Chopped is good too)
10. Jersey Shore ( a must on Thursdays)